Updates on Evan

Let your light shine.

Posted by: Myra Hoffman
Date: August 27th, 2010

Thursday morning was the All-School Liturgy held at St. Agnes. Sr. Joan explained the theme for the 2010/2011 school year is “Let Your Light Shine.” She said that despite Evan’s two-year battle with cancer he continued to let his light shine for all of us to see. He faced each day with courage, hope and good humor. And, she encouraged all the students to let their line shine for one another this year through kindness and love – in honor of their classmate, Evan.

During Mass, Fr. Bob spoke to the children and talked about how many times we take things for granted. The air we breathe, the ground we walk on, and life itself. He reminded all of us what a gift our lives truly are.

It was a beautiful Mass, but so very sad for Jeff and I to watch the 8th graders file in without Evan among them. Evan loved school so much – even more so after he became ill.

After Mass, everyone went outside for a special tree dedication – planted to “honor and remember” Evan. What glorious weather we had! Father bestowed a blessing, and Evan’s classmates took turns shoveling dirt around the base of the tree. Evan’s very special friend, Annie B., e-mailed us and said “she and Evan” would be there in spirit. She also said she hoped the Late Day kids would eventually use the tree/stone as a base for kickball. Jeff and I loved the thought of that idea. There used to be a big tree in the same location before a storm took it down this past June (oddly enough), and many times when we would pick Evan up from Late Day he would be sitting under that tree reading a book or playing with friends around it.

Thank you to Fr. Bob, Sr. Joan, the teachers and staff, students, parents, friends and parishioners that were in attendence yesterday. Your continued love and support have helped us more than you’ll ever know.

We’d also like to thank Pleasant Nursery, Chapman Stone & Marble and Arnold Monument for working with us and coordinating the tree and stone work – it couldn’t have turned out more perfect.

To see pictures of “Evan’s tree” just click on the “Home” link (last heart on the left). Or, retype www.weloveevan.com into your browser. The slideshow is on the Home page. Thank you, Steve, for capturing the moment for us.


A thousand goodbyes.

Posted by: Myra
Date: August 22nd, 2010

They say when you lose someone you love you say a thousand goodbyes. It’s true. Each and every day is filled with reminders of the boy we miss so desperately. Back-to-school commercials make us cry. Evan’s “Playstation Magazine” subscription makes us cry and serves as a monthly reminder that he’s not here to read it. Heck, the wind blowing through the trees makes us cry. Believe it or not, crying is better than numbness.

People mean well when they ask us how we’re doing. The standard answer is “hanging in there.” But, what I really want to say is: I’m sad. I miss Evan terribly. I want to hug and kiss his sweaty head. I want to wash his dirty clothes. I want to pick up his wet towel off the bathroom floor. I want to tell him to pick up his shoes and put them away. I want to fix him spaghetti. I want him here with us. So, when you ask me how I’m doing -- now you’ll know what “hanging in there” means.

Your continued notes of support have meant so much. We’ve especially loved hearing from Evan’s classmates and friends over the summer. We take a lot of consolation in knowing that Evan’s life touched so many people – those he knew and even those he didn’t. Big shout out to Sydney M. for running a lemonade stand this summer in Evan’s memory and raising funds for the American Cancer Society, he would have loved that.

This Thursday Evan’s St. Agnes classmates will gather for an all school Mass and immediately following will dedicate a tree in his memory. Jeff and I were so happy when Fr. Bob and Sr. Joan told us they wanted to honor Evan in this thoughtful way. It will undoubtedly be an emotional morning for us, but a great opportunity to celebrate Evan’s life with the whole school community. With help from Mark Moscardelli of Pleasant Nursery, we chose an “October Glory” maple for Evan’s tree. When we heard it was the most brilliant of all the maples we knew it would fit the bill. Thank you to everyone at St. Agnes for their continued caring and generous support.

Don’t forget to stop by Pease’s Candies Aug. 25-31, to benefit the Evan Hoffman Children’s Fund for St. John’s Children’s Hospital. Thank you in advance for your support!


Shooting stars.

Posted by: Myra
Date: August 13th, 2010

When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of "No answer." It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, "Peace, child; you don't understand." – C.S. Lewis

Last night during the meteor shower, Jeff and I decided to lay on our still warm concrete driveway and gaze up at the sky above us. We live out in the country so the sky was velvety black and filled with thousands of brightly lit stars. As we waited in the quiet our thoughts naturally turned to Evan. Was he laying on his heavenly bed and staring down at us. Or was his spirit secretly tucked in between Jeff and I, so we were once again a family lying all together. To know either would have brought me comfort.

I asked Evan to give us a sign he was there. We waited patiently. Several minutes went by and then a big blaze of meteor with a long glowing tail streaked across the sky. It happened so quickly and was gone in an instant.


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