Updates on Evan

Old message board is back!

Posted by: Myra
Date: June 22nd, 2011

Dear Friends & Family,
It's been a bit of one-sided conversation the last few months. I'm happy to let you know the "old" message board is back with new security in place. Just click on "Messages" in the left side navigation list.

Last year we were really getting hacked up a storm with some very unpleasant messages, so we were forced to take the message board down. The new message board, however, was a little too complex to deal with and not as friendly to use.

Thanks to Steve and Eric for all their help with this site, you've been a blessing.

If anyone is still out there, feel free to make a message post! Your messages of support really got us (and Evan) through those two years of treatment, and afterwards helped shine some light on our darkest days.

Talk to us about Evan, evanwalk, any smiley face sightings, comments on past posts, etc., we look forward to hearing from you.

 

Without you.

Posted by: Myra
Date: June 9th, 2011

Without you
No rose can grow;
No leaf be green
If never seen
Your sweetest face;
No bird have grace
Or power to sing;
Or anything
Be kind, or fair,
And you nowhere.

Ė Elinor Wylie


Every single day is painful without Evan. Not just today the anniversary of his death, but every day. How does one survive without their child? I donít know. Somehow you do. You pray a lot for God to give you strength. But the questions never go away. The whys. The how comes. The what ifs. The regrets. The sorrow. The deep anguish. The two-year battle plays over and over in your mind. Especially the final weeks of watching your child slip away and knowing that shortly, very shortly they will be gone forever and there is nothing you can do to save them. Nothing. Itís like watching a slow train coming down the tracks and you canít stop that train. You canít pull your child out of the way. You can only watch. And hang on as long as possible.

If you never believed in post traumatic stress syndrome, Iím here to tell you itís real.

Evan helped us all get through his final days. He was a brilliant light shining with pure love. No anger. No bitterness. No fear. He just told us again and again how much he loved us. How much he appreciated everything we had done for him. How thankful he was for everyone that had prayed for him. How much he appreciated the nurses and doctors who had cared for him. How much he loved his friends and family.

We long to hear his laugh, and to feel his hug. Time does not help or heal, it merely punctuates the reality of our loss.

Thank you for walking along with us these past three years. For caring and praying for our family.